Exhaustion
Published at: 2026-10-10Does anyone even know what we are doing anymore. We are all rushing towards something, we claim to know that it is important but what is it.
By nature I am lazy, that is why I gravited into software. I like being able to grasp a system and identify the minimal change I need to do in order to accomplish a goal. I don't dislike AI driven development out of a love of writing code, I dislike it because it puts me in a constant state of shallow attention to the world around me. Writing is thinking and I miss being able to think. Perhaps I am not as smart as I would like to be but I don't see how all of this is sustainable long term.
Thinking deeply about various things is not always an enjoyable task for me. As I said I am lazy, so being handed a tool that allows me to supplant real productivity with fake one is extremely dangerous.
I can produce tons of low value work, low value because I already knew how to do them and that they had to get done. Real productivity would be thinking about how to not have to do any of those tasks in the first place. But it is easier to look busy both to satisfy the need for motion and due to the economic incentive of being able to pay for a place to live.
This is likely a "skill issue" on my part. Or a discipline issue. Whichever fits your perception of me better. But I know my ability to think clearly is degrading as my usage of AI increases and its inducing a constant feeling of exhaustion in me.